How to Support a Friend Who Is Struggling with Their Mental Health

It is almost instinctive for us to help someone who is physically injured. Most of us know how to clean a wound, apply a bandage, or at least call for medical help. We hear about CPR, first aid, and emergency care from a young age.

But when a friend is struggling with their mental health, many of us feel lost. We want to help, yet we don't know what to say or do. Providing emotional support often feels much harder than helping someone with a physical injury.

This isn't because we don't care. It's because we've never been taught.

Despite growing mental health awareness, conversations around mental health and psychological wellbeing continue to carry stigma. Schools teach physical first aid, but very few teach mental health first aid—the skills needed to recognise emotional distress, respond with empathy, and support someone until they receive appropriate help.

Depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns are incredibly common, yet most of us have never learned how to comfort a friend with depression or support someone experiencing overwhelming emotional pain.

If you've ever felt awkward or unsure when trying to support a friend who is struggling with their mental health, know that you're not alone. You weren't taught these skills.

The good news is that they can be learned.

Why Mental Health Support Matters

We often think that supporting someone means solving their problems, but that's rarely what people struggling with their mental health need.

Research consistently shows that having even one supportive person in your life can reduce feelings of loneliness, increase resilience, and make it easier to seek professional help.

While friends cannot replace therapy or medical care, they can play an important role in helping someone feel understood and less alone.

Sometimes, knowing that someone believes you and cares about your wellbeing is enough to make getting through another day feel possible.

What Your Friend May Be Experiencing

Someone struggling with their mental health may not always look distressed. They may continue going to work or college, smile in social situations, or insist that they are "fine."

Mental health concerns often affect thoughts, emotions, physical energy, and behaviour in ways that aren't always visible.

Your friend may be experiencing:

• Overwhelming sadness or hopelessness

• Constant anxiety or worry

• Exhaustion even after sleeping

• Difficulty concentrating

• Withdrawing from loved ones

• Changes in appetite or sleep

• Feeling numb or disconnected

Understanding this can help us respond with compassion instead of frustration.

If someone cancels plans repeatedly or stops replying to messages, it may not be because they don't care—it may simply be that they don't have the emotional capacity at that moment.

While every person's experience is different, there are a few simple ways you can offer meaningful support without trying to fix everything.

Things to Do

1. Simply Be There

We often underestimate the power of simply being present.

Supporting someone doesn't always require the perfect words. Sometimes, your quiet presence offers more comfort than any advice ever could.

Sitting beside someone, checking in, or simply sharing space communicates safety and compassion.

Many of us rush to fix the situation because seeing someone we care about in pain makes us uncomfortable. However, trying to solve their problems immediately can unintentionally make them feel pressured to "feel better" before they're ready.

Often, your presence is enough.

2. Listen Actively

When your friend is ready to talk, give them the space to do so.

Allow them to decide how much they want to share and at what pace.

Active listening means paying attention not only to what happened but also to how the experience has made them feel.

Instead of jumping straight into advice or solutions, try asking:

"That sounds really difficult. How can I support you right now?"

"Would you like me to just listen, or are you looking for advice?"

Sometimes people don't need answers; they simply need someone willing to hear them without judgment.

3. Helpful Things to Say

Sometimes finding the right words feels difficult.

Remember that you don't need perfect advice—you simply need to communicate that you're present.

You could say:

• "I'm really glad you told me."

• "You don't have to go through this alone."

• "Thank you for trusting me."

• "I'm here to listen whenever you're ready."

• "Would you like me to just listen, or would you like help thinking through this?"

• "That sounds incredibly difficult."

Often, these simple statements provide far more emotional support than trying to offer quick solutions or positive thinking.

4. Check In Regularly

When someone is struggling with their mental health, even replying to messages or showing up for plans can feel overwhelming.

A simple check-in can remind them they are not alone.

It doesn't need to be elaborate. A message like:

"I've been thinking about you. No pressure to reply, I'm here whenever you're ready."

can go a long way.

These small gestures help someone feel seen, especially when their own thoughts may be convincing them otherwise.

5. Offer Practical Help

Mental health struggles don't just affect emotions; they can make everyday tasks feel exhausting.

Cooking meals, buying groceries, attending appointments, or even responding to emails may suddenly feel impossible.

If your friend is comfortable accepting help, offer practical support. You could:

• Cook or order a meal

• Help with groceries

• Accompany them to appointments

• Assist with small errands

• Help them organise tasks they've been putting off

These seemingly small acts can make a significant difference during difficult periods.

6. Help Them Access Mental Health Support

Sometimes, your friend may need professional mental health support in addition to support from loved ones.

This might include:

• A psychologist

• A psychiatrist

• A support group

• A counsellor

Taking the first step towards getting help can feel incredibly overwhelming.

You can make it easier by helping them look for professionals, book appointments, or accompany them if they would like company.

Difficult tasks often feel much more manageable when shared with someone they trust.

When Professional Help Is Needed

Being a supportive friend doesn't mean carrying the responsibility of fixing someone's mental health.

There are times when professional help is necessary.

Encourage your friend to seek help if:

• They have been struggling for several weeks

• Their symptoms are affecting work, school, or relationships

• They talk about feeling hopeless

• They are using alcohol or substances to cope

• They express thoughts of harming themselves

Offer to help them find a psychologist or psychiatrist, accompany them to an appointment if they would like, or simply sit with them while they make the call.

Sometimes taking that first step feels much easier with someone by their side.

Things Not to Do

1. Don't Minimise Their Experience

When trying to comfort someone, it's common to say things like:

"At least it isn't worse."

"Other people have it much harder."

Although these statements usually come from good intentions, they can feel deeply invalidating.

Pain is not a competition.

Instead of comparing their struggles, acknowledge their feelings.

Try saying:

"That sounds incredibly hard."

"I'm really glad you told me."

Validation helps people feel understood, while comparison often makes them feel guilty for struggling.

2. Don't Make It About Your Own Experience

Many of us respond by sharing what we did in a similar situation.

While this often comes from a genuine desire to help, every person's circumstances are different.

For example, if someone is feeling anxious because of a difficult boss, saying:

"If I were you, I'd quit."

or:

"I complained to HR when this happened to me."

may not actually be helpful.

Your friend may not have the financial security to leave their job, or they may work in an environment where speaking up feels unsafe.

Instead of assuming what they should do, ask what they need from you.

Remember: people often don't need immediate solutions; they need someone willing to understand how deeply they're hurting.

Lastly, Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone through a difficult time can be emotionally demanding.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Looking after your own wellbeing isn't selfish—it's necessary.

Make time for activities that help you recharge. Spend time with people who support you, rest when you need to, and seek help if you begin feeling overwhelmed yourself.

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

In fact, when your friend sees you reaching out for support when you need it, it can normalise help-seeking and remind them that they don't have to carry everything alone either.

Mental health struggles can feel isolating, but healing often begins in relationships where people feel safe, heard, and accepted.

You don't need to have all the right words or all the answers.

Showing up consistently with compassion, listening without judgment, and reminding your friend that they matter can make a lasting difference.

While professional mental health support is sometimes essential, the kindness of a trusted friend can be an important part of someone's journey towards recovery and psychological wellbeing.